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Apr. 10th, 2021 10:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sigmalephI've been finding working on my desktop (by which I mean, investigating the hardware failure that made my desktop stop working) really aversive and I don't know why. I overcame some of that resistance today, and I have (I think) identified the problem and the replacement part I need to get, but I think it's worth analysing why it took me so long.
If I had to guess I'd say it is: It's been a while since I've worked on this, and those skills are rusty because I've had limited use for them for a while. I used to be "good" at this, by which I mean basically capable of assembling a computer from parts; now I look and I struggle to remember some details, which could be important, and so I need to exert some effort to look things up, which is further upsetting because I don't find things instantly. This is, of course, a terrible attitude to have towards knowledge, that it must be effortless or it is worthless; nevertheless is one I find myself having often and causing this state of mind.
Inconveniently, saying to myself "Aha! this attitude is unproductive and so should be abandoned" does not solve the problem, so I must instead work through it. It is unpleasant work, inevitably. But it's worth doing, both for the immediate rewards and for, hopefully, eventually, training myself out of the negative thought patterns.
I don't know if writing this down helped, but it made me feel a little better
If I had to guess I'd say it is: It's been a while since I've worked on this, and those skills are rusty because I've had limited use for them for a while. I used to be "good" at this, by which I mean basically capable of assembling a computer from parts; now I look and I struggle to remember some details, which could be important, and so I need to exert some effort to look things up, which is further upsetting because I don't find things instantly. This is, of course, a terrible attitude to have towards knowledge, that it must be effortless or it is worthless; nevertheless is one I find myself having often and causing this state of mind.
Inconveniently, saying to myself "Aha! this attitude is unproductive and so should be abandoned" does not solve the problem, so I must instead work through it. It is unpleasant work, inevitably. But it's worth doing, both for the immediate rewards and for, hopefully, eventually, training myself out of the negative thought patterns.
I don't know if writing this down helped, but it made me feel a little better
